The Lord is Always With His
I received the following testimony from Ester Goodrich and believe it to be of great worth in revealing how the Lord, Jesus, is always with us in our time of stress and discouragement. I marvel how the Lord touched the same chord in our mother's hearts reminding both of us of the need our young ones have, and of what a loss it would be to our children if we were not there to help them through this lifetime. J H
I Am Always With You
I prayed, 'If you are
there, let me know.'
I was filled with such a
peace that I had never felt before.
The Spirit of the Lord
filled me and for the first time in my life I experienced the
'burning of the bosom'.
I praised my Lord for this
experience and have never fallen into such a deep depression since.
Whenever I have doubts, I remember this experience and again feel
the burning of the bosom and the doubts are burned away.
God Touches Mothers' Hearts
It seems Ester and I were going through this suicidal phase at the same age. By the age of 27 I had delivered a stillborn; birthed a beautifully perfectly formed healthy girl who was struck deaf and blind, (eyesight returning in two months); lost a full term first-born son after two days of life; and one year later lost a 3 month premature little girl who lived 8 hours.
About two months after her burial (having moved out of state for my husband's employment the day of her burial, alone without family and friends, and depressed) I found out I had conceived again. All I could see ahead of me was more death, and pain of mental anguish. In torment, the Adversary told me a dream that everyone would be better off if I wasn't around. So I awoke wanting to end my life.
As I contemplated Satan's suggestion (yet not knowing Satan was the author of it), the Lord impressed me by the Still Small Voice that I had something to give to my deaf three-year-old daughter that no one else on earth could give her. And as I said, Jesus touched my mother's heart, and for her I lived.
The coming years would reveal what that unique one thing I could give her was. It was the faith to be healed. Today she is a woman in her fifties, and has the faith of the brother of Jared. She has seen, walked and talked with Jesus and been before the throne of God. She said they look the same, yet are different beings. She knows there are two, for she has seen them side by side. She is waiting for the Lord's ministers to be endowed like they have been promised, and then she will be healed. She also knows when this will be: after an earthquake in the Midwest.
There Are Two
My Master has been more than patient with me—He has been long-long-suffering. There was a particular mistake (that sounds better than sin) that I kept repeating. I knew it was wrong, but I was weak. It was not all that bad, I thought. I ignored the Spirit’s prompting or constraints (to not say that next thought)—not being sure if it was God talking to me —not “seeing” any harm in what was about to be said, etc. I learned it’s better to say nothing when in doubt than to offend God and find out later He was talking to you.
God said He won’t allow sin in the least degree in the kingdom. I was a sinner. I had no excuse if I wanted in the kingdom. It had to stop, but I couldn’t stop it, or didn’t. Each time I prayed seriously for forgiveness of this sin, I received it, that is, until God had enough. And the time will come when God does have enough!
Feeling guilty, I was on my knees praying about it again, but this time my prayer bounced back off the ceiling at me. I’d never experienced such a thing before, but it was very evident that my prayer was being rejected. God wasn’t going to listen to me anymore. I felt totally alone and unforgiven. Instinctively I thought of Jesus Christ as my Mediator, and I prayed, “Jesus, will you ask Him to forgive me?”
I wept as the words of my Patriarchal Blessing came to mind, “Comfort her, dear Lord, and take her into Thy loving arms and bless her by Thy divine grace and power, and guide and direct her in her everyday walk of life.” That blessing had been given to me about ten years before. The promise was literal, and I saw it happen.