You Are Holding Her From Me
Because of Tims upcoming baptism, our pastor urged me to have our deaf daughter, Melissa, who was 11 now, to join with him in the waters. I didnt want to force any belief on her. I wanted her to be able to understand exactly what she was doing before she made the choice, so I refused to have her baptized.
Our church teaches that until the age of eight, the sins of the child are upon the heads of the parents. They are to teach their children Christs laws, and on their eighth birthday, they become accountable to God for their own sins. Elder Jess Holsworth was visited by two angels who told him that on each persons eighth birthday, Angels of Agency come and lay their hands on the childs head and they become accountable from that time forward. Melissa was well past eight. I knew this law but refused to have her baptized. Nevertheless, the pastor got in every chance he could to mention it. It irritated me, but I thought about it. One day I had an impression that I was keeping Jesus from dwelling within Melissathat I was keeping them from having a closer relationship than they could have had.
Two weeks before Tims baptism Melissa told me she, too, wanted to be baptized. She didnt know the controversy going on about it, so I began questioning her about JesusDid she love Him, and want to live for Him? She had all the right answers. For some reason she desired with all her heart to serve Him. I was surprised, for there could be no other way for her to have this desire unless He had ministered to her in her soundless world.
This is one of those miracles which makes a person feel about an inch high. Christ does not leave any of His children alone and without ministry. We may not be able to reach into them, but nothing keeps Him out! He touched her in some way, and she knew.
Melissa went into those baptismal waters, and from then on a drastic change came over her. She seemed to understand more, and a door of communication opened between her and the heavenly courts that hadnt been there before. She began receiving dreams that taught her about the great eternal principals of the kingdomthe fullness of the gospel. Where my words (signs) were inadequate, His werent.
Angels Assist Doctors
In the preceding pages I have shared experiences of the births of our four living children. Before I close the testimony on my childbearing days, and of how the Master was with me all the way, I have one final testimony to bear. It is the story of the last conception.
In 1971 I became aware of another pregnancy. Debra and Judy were now five years old. I was still under 100 pounds, and dragging physically. The weight of my responsibilities kept me down. I never seemed to be able to get the additional rest I needed to recuperate and build up. The thought of another conception was totally unacceptable. Another childI didnt need itI didnt want it. I loved all that I had, but I was now 35 years old and felt enough was enough! I didnt believe I could carry another child; however, if you play with matches, you may get burned. We had fulfilled a law and this was the result. I worried. Debra wouldnt have been alive without divine intervention, and I saw trouble ahead. I prayed about it and dreamed that I would lose it in stages. I became apprehensive and decided to seek administration for help.
We already had plans to take the children to Disneyland in California and headed west. Stopping off in Utah, we looked up our church and the Seventy there administered to me, an elder whom Id not known before, nor did I tell him the nature of my concern. His words astounded me as he prayed, Lord, rebuke that which has attached itself to her body so she may be able to do the work that you have for her. I couldnt believe what I was hearing. If I understood it correctly, God was going to abort the pregnancy. Now if you were that elder, what would you have thought had attached itself to me? An evil spirit? Who would think that God would rebuke a fetus? But He did!
We went on to Disneyland and on the return trip just two days from home I experienced the same thing twice. When I awoke, each morning I felt a sharp pain as if a very sharp scalpel was cutting me to abort my child. The morning after we arrived home, I started losing the pregnancy in stages like Id seen in the dream. Days passed and nothing more happened. I became concerned. I went to the doctor. He said I was still pregnant. I knew the dream had already started fulfilling and I wanted the pregnancy terminated. He referred me to another doctor and I made the appointment for an abortion. However, I didnt have peace about it, so I laid the matter of abortion before the Lord. I had a vision.
I saw a healthy baby held up before me and I knew God was telling me not to take the matter of life and death in my own hands.
That was the second time Id seen a baby held up before me like that. Whoever this child was, he was in heaven. So was Tim when Id seen him in the angels arms. Timothy Gene was now nine years old. It never occurred to me that this child might be destined to be in our family. I wasnt willing or able to take another one at the time, and God honored my wish.
Looking back twenty-four years later, it seems that maybe the Lord simply took a different route to get this child under my care, like Betty Eadies adopted little girl.1 God cant be boxed up. His Will will eventually be done in your lifeone way or the other, if you live for Him.
I canceled the appointment and trusted God for the future. What He started, He could finish. As the dream showed me I would lose it in stages, it began aborting. One night the situation became critical. The elders were called. As they prayed, I felt the presence of two angels at the foot of my bed. They seemed to be waiting for something. One of the elders was the presiding elder of the congregation we attended, one who had caused us much grief, yet we honored his office of a minister. After the prayer, he expressed his surprise that I was not instantly healed, for he, too, felt the presence of angels in the room. I wondered what they were waiting for. I found out later that night when I began hemorrhaging. I was carried to the hospital too weak to walk from loss of blood, and I was on the verge of losing consciousness.
Im always cold. As I lay shivering on that ice slab they call an operating table, wishing I could just get warm, praying, Lord, help me make it through this one minute at a time, suddenly I began to relax and the shaking stopped. I wasnt so cold anymore. I couldnt understand why because I didnt remember anybody giving me a sedative, and then I figured it out. Im dying. I wonder if I should tell the doctors. Oh, well, theyre busy, theyll find out in a little bit anyway! And I didnt know anything else until I woke up. It was all over. Hallelujah!
We, the human species, think were somethingin control of things, etc., Ive got a news flash! Were not! Man is nothing...at least I know Im not. God alone is in control. They had given me a shot, but Id been too ill to even feel it; and Gods physicians had been at work. At the point of my needing a blood transfusion, the doctor said the bleeding simply stopped as if you would shut off a water faucet. Then I knew why the angels were there. God was aborting my baby and they were there to save my life. The doctor said there was something different in my blood that the hospital didnt have in their blood bank. They were going to have to give me what was available. It appears that at that point the angels stepped in. How wonderful it is to know our practicing doctors here (and they say they are practicing) have divine, unseen help in their efforts.
As a result of this danger to my life, my companion was sterilized. From that time on there was great peace and relaxation between us, for now he was no longer a potential threat to me. Now we could enjoy each other without worry. I believe we have done our part to procreate and that we have the blessing of God upon us over our decision for sterilization.
I am very grateful that I didnt abort my child, for it is shedding innocent bloodone of the seven deadly sins God hates.2 Yet neither I, nor any man, should judge another on this issue. Judgment is Gods alone. I only know He told me not to do it. I will have a clear conscience when I stand before the judgment bar. What man thinks will not justify his works. What God thinks will, and His judgment is fair, and final.
Speaking about the decisions we make, Abraham Lincoln said: If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.
The Breath of Life
Nothing lives until it has the breath of life. When that breath of life enters, that person or animal breathes and comes alive. A baby receives the breath of life when it enters this world as it exits the womb and cries out. If that baby never breathes the breath of life, it does not live on earth but is stillborn, and returns to the grave. This leads one to understand that the baby in the womb is not "alive" except in Christ. Aborting a developing child is to assume power over the works of Creation, and is taking the power of God into man's own hands. This is murder.
In the days of Noah, God gives us a clue. The animals were alive until their "breath of life" was denied them.
"All in whose nostrils the Lord had breathed the breath of life, of all that were on the dry land, died." Gen. 8:43
"And I, the Lord God, formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul; the first flesh upon the earth, the first man also . . . . " Gen. 2:8
The point at which this action of life entering is made more clear by the scripture in John when Jesus sent the Holy Ghost to His disciples. They were living breathing souls, yet had not the Holy Ghost. It did not enter until Jesus "breathed on them." Therefore, they were dead to it until it entered.
"Then said Jesus to them again, 'Peace be unto you; as My Father hath sent Me, even so send I you. And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and saith unto them, 'Receive ye the Holy Ghost' . . . ." John 20:21
In Psalm 104 we read ". . .thou takest away their breath, they die, and return to their dust. Thou sendest forth thy Spirit, they are created; and thou renewest the face of the earth."
Therefore, abortion is killing the work of the Spirit of God which is creating a soul through His laws. And it is murder.
Spiritual Mothers - Update 1995
M. J. Scott Loves Cars
My daughter, Judy, and I, as well as the rest of the family, will testify that theres a strange and wonderful relationship between me and our first grandson, Michael Joseph. I was in the delivery room at Judys request,and prayed for her life as the doctor worked to stop the
hemorrhage. Looking at Michael through the visitors window, he was yet on the warming table when the Spirit said, Reason with him in love, and it puzzled me. However, I knew it was God telling me how to reach this child. But why tell me?
When they came home, she just didnt have enough blood left to give her the strength she needed to meet Michaels needs for a long time. Because they lived in our finished basement, I picked up the load. Michael snuggled in my fluffy blue bathrobe like a bear cub to its mother, and he never forgot it. He didnt bond to his mother, but it was to me, his grandmother.
Before he was born, his grandfather had a dream about him that revealed Grandma would be important in his life some way. We all expected a girl because when we prayed for grandchildren, God gave David two visions, both showing him his daughter. She would be very gifted on the piano at a young age, and in the vision she was performing on stage with their music group, ECHO. We were sure the baby coming was this little girl. Then Grandpa Gene had a dream.
Judy had a little boy who wandered away from home. His grandparents, Gene and I, and his mother got in the car and went driving up and down the streets to find him. We came to a corner and his mother said turn right, but the Spirit told me to go the opposite direction. Gene turned the direction I told him, and we came upon Michael riding his little tricycle.
When he was born, only Grandpa Gene expected him, except maybe his cousin, Vickyjust a few seconds before he was born. We were standing in the hallway just around the corner from the delivery room, praying for Judy who was having a hard time. As we prayed in our prayer circle, Vicky said an angel, or spirit being, came walking briskly from the front of the hospital in our direction. He (noticemale) paused for a second or two as he made himself known only to her, then seemed to hurry on past in the direction of the delivery room. Vicky was puzzled, for she was sure this angel was male, yet we expected a female. When Michael Joseph was born seconds later, everyone was shocked except Gene and Vicky. She was ecstatic! God had shown her his spirit. She said her impression was of a young man, not a little baby, a sanguine, light hearted, happy person, and how true that turned out to be in the years to come.
I prayed that we might have some comfort and understanding about the sex change. Gene again had a dream about this little baby. He saw Michael stand up quickly, faster than usual. While this literally fulfilled (when we held him up his legs would start moving as if motorized, and he couldnt even stand up), I believe it has a spiritual meaning. I believe it means Michael Joseph is destined to rise up quickly in service to the Lord, once we all figure out the relationship, and what God intends for his life. That would explain his dream of the white machines God and Jesus let him drive as they mowed down trees.
The question, Why did God tell me instead of his mother where to find him? is only answered by the possibility that Im his spiritual mother. On Betty Eadies visit to heaven, she was impressed with the beauty of the spirit of a young woman she saw there, yet no words passed between them. Later, in a vision, she saw a little girl with her husband. It was fulfilled when a baby was put in Bettys care, then almost a year later, taken from her and placed in another home. The little girl cried for two months for her Mother, the only mother she had known. She was severely abused for it. Its a heartbreaker just to read it, but God finally had His way. Betty was destined to raise this little girl. It was in the plan before the child came on earth apparently, as the drama was played out in real life. Betty was distraught over losing the child, and God sent an angel to Betty and told her shed get her back. Every mother should read her testimony.
Spiritual mothers are sometimes more important than biological moms because spiritual mothers have only one purpose in mindthe spiritual (eternal) welfare of Gods child. If a mother is a biological and spiritual mother to her children, what a blessing those children have. God wants all of His mothers to be spiritual mothersMothers in Israelto their own children as well as any He sends them. They have a call greater than any on earthto raise up sons and daughters in such love and faith toward God, they will follow Him anywhere he leadseven to the redemption of Gods kingdom on earth.
Guideposts has a similar story of children being placed in homes by the power of heaven. A young Christian couple lost their firstborn, a boy, before the age of two. The second, a girl named Mary Elizabeth, developed heart trouble at the age of five after an illness, and then lived to the age of nine. Before she died, she had given her parents clues to whom they would be adopting after she was gone.
The first indication from heaven was the prompting of Mary to clip a newspaper article about four little orphaned sisters. She circled the picture of the oldest girl. When her father turned down her pleading for him to go buy this little girl at the orphanage, she tucked the photo away in her scrapbook, and there it remained unseen until several years after her death.
When she was nine, Mary Elizabeth knew she was dying, and having no fear of leaving, asked her father to promise to buy a baby girl at the orphanage, because she knew her mother would be very lonely when she was gone. She stipulated the baby must have blue eyes. Her father kept his promise. They adopted an eighteen-month-old, blue-eyed girl, who screamed whenever any man came near her. . .that is, until Marys father came into the room. She stretched out her arms to him and smiled. They knew she was the one, and took her home that day.
Then the orphanage phoned them later and asked if they would take a nine-year old for the weekend as a favor to the orphanage. They did. When the weekend was over, all were in tears as she was about to leave. They adopted her. The little girl moved into Mary Elizabeths room, which was just as she had left it. A few weeks later as she was looking through Mary Elizabeths scrapbook, she saw something that told her God sent her into that home. The little girl ran downstairs shouting to her new mother that she had found her own picture in Mary Elizabeths scrapbook. I quote from Guideposts:
Mrs. Bird tried to convince the youngster that it couldnt be. Her own little girl had passed away nearly four years before and had no way on knowing her. But the child insisted: Yes, she did. She wanted me. She picked me out! Mrs. Bird wiped her floured hands on her long apron and went to the foot of the stairs. The child brought down the old scrapbook and, there, pasted on one of the last pages, was the newspaper clipping with pictures of four little orphaned sisters. Circled in crayon was the oldest oneMary Elizabeth.3 She, too, was named Mary Elizabeth.
On Earth A Short Time
Before the subject of Betty Eadies visit to heaven is dropped in this book, there is another great light she was given about spirits who are born and live here only a short time. She said,
I saw many spirits who would only come to the earth for a short time, living only hours, or days after their birth. They were as excited as the others, knowing that they had a purpose to fulfill. I understood that their deaths had been appointed before their birthsas were all of ours. These spirits did not need the development that would result from longer lives in mortality, and their deaths would provide challenges that would help their parents grow. The grief that comes here is intense but short. After we are united again, all pain is washed away, and only the joy of our growth and togetherness is felt. 4
This woman has seen truth. An elder in our church was told the same thing. It was a shock when our firstborn son, Michael Lee, lived only two days. Its easy to believe that he was appointed to return, for all things seemed to be against helping him survive here. As he was dying we called the elders who came and prayed for him. Later, one of the men, Elder Jess Holsworth, returned again to pray for me. He said he had petitioned the Lord for understanding of why babies die so young. He said the Lord told him that some spirits are so near perfect that they dont need to live out their lives here for salvationit would serve no further purposethat they would choose the highestlive celestial lives. He was told that all they needed to fulfill the plan of salvation was a mortal body in order to be resurrected.
The deaths of our babies did give us the opportunity to grow, and is a testimony to help others learn more about the love of God.
One other subject intrigued methe tunnel Mrs. Eadie passed through on her journey to heaven. She said there were spirits there who didnt seem to be moving forward into heaven. It sounds like a suspended state. Ive always wondered what was happening to people who are in comas for years. They cant die because our physicians have them hooked up to life supporting apparatus. The tunnel explains it for me.5 They are neither in heaven nor on earthonly in-between, but they are experiencing peace.
1. Embraced by the Light, p. 97 by Betty Eadie
2. Proverbs 6:16
3. In His Mysterious Ways, Guideposts (book), p. 227
4. Embraced by the Light, p. 95-96
5. Ibid. p. 37