Move To Michigan
I awoke the next morning greatly encouraged and my faith strengthened. The experience had kept me from sinking. However, the two weeks at mothers were very lonely without Gene. I walked for days in numbness after Susans death.
Gene flew down to get Melissa and me, and we returned by jet. It was October and cold. Michigan had entered its snow season and a long one it was for me. I was far from home, church, my family, everything that I loved, except my beloved companion and daughter. And worst of all, I had prayed that if I was a hindrance to the building of Zion for God to move me out. I loved the concept of it so much, and the work of God was so precious to me, that I didnt want to delay it by my ignorance or sinfulness. I knew He could build it without me. And now here I was moved out of Zion!
I know it was very hard for them both to watch me pass through this time. Melissa was so good, yet as deaf as a rock! The only thing she could understand was what she saw, and that was a mother whose heart was heavy all the time. Sorrow filled our home. I couldnt lift myself up.
We had been in Michigan now about two months and I pleaded in desperation one day,Lord, is there anything more? The reply was immediate,Yes, one more. I groaned because I knew what that meant. Although I had not asked the question, I didnt need to; and while the thought hadnt entered my mind up to that time, yet I knewI was pregnant again.
I wanted to take my life when two weeks passed and the pregnancy became confirmed. I wonder how many women struggle with that one! It seems now that I should have been stronger in spirit, but the continual childbearing drained my body and mind of any strength to fight back. I had no time to recuperate and build up.
Child planning is a very wise concept. I had tried, but it seems the women in our family tree were all extremely fertile. Grandmother had thirteen, Mother had seven, my only sister had seven, and listen to thisher seventh one came after she had her tubes tied and her husband had a vasectomy. Now thats fertile!!! My physical condition caused some limitations as to what measures I could take. (The pill made me hemorrhage. I had cancer and didnt know it.) It was a problem. Sterilization or total abstinence seemed to be the only choices we had, and who would want that? Years in the future we would have to resort to sterilization because of the danger to my life.
A Little Knowledge
The move to Michigan lasted only 9 months, but long enough to accomplish a break in a friendship that had served its purpose, and now was due for a change. We werent shipped out of Zion because we hindered its growthwe were moved there in answer to the prayers of our parents, Genes folks, to separate our friends and us, and God was in agreement.
Because of the before-mentioned friendship, Melissa had become deaf, and Gene and I were now schooled in demonologywe could recognize the sneaky demons and their tactics. And Im grateful for what we learned. Satan is cunning, and a liar. He will exhibit enough truth or light to hide the real scheme he has to draw one away from God. If a person is sensitive to light, and naive, he may get caught, or almost. Such was the case with us.
Melissas deafness is the result of listening to Lee who lived in the apartment across the hall from us with Lucille. He had just enough knowledge and light to be dangerous. Lee was a large man in stature, about 6 feet, 250 pounds, in his sixties. He had a gift of persuasion and a winning personality. He became a father image to me. My father had so many problems of his own that he never seemed to be able to give me the love and security I needed when growing upthis man filled that void. The things he said had a ring of truth to them. I was young and gullible, but I wasnt stupid, and I learned my lessons fast.
Lee had worked in hospitals and seen things which I wish he hadnt repeated to me. He was filled with contempt and hate, distrust of human kind, and most of the time he pushed his way through to achieve what he wanted. He had a choleric personality and was in short, a con man. His tales made me afraid of hospitals; I didnt know any better. All my experiences up to that time with the medics had been negative. My health was very poor from a child up. Mother tried for years to build me up physically, through the advise of medics, and all failed. I therefore, believed Lee when he spoke ill of the medical field. And he had some tales to tell!
I was pregnant with Melissa when we met Lee and Lucille. To my joy he found a doctor that would deliver at home. When the delivery went well, and Melissa became healthy on mothers milk, Lee shared his beliefs about health foods.
I learned a hard lesson from that one. Health foods are good ONLY if you are not a fanatic, and IF you know how to use them properly by the balancing of nutrition. You cant beat fresh fruits and vegetables. In the 1990s our family became vegetarians, except for a little fish, and now the fish is phasing out in the late 90s. We never eat red meat, but if we had to, we would until something better was offered.
These lessons of temperance and wisdom I had to learn through what I suffered. And I learned that trusting the arm of flesh can kill you. I marvel at how the national attitude has changed about healthful eating. What was once mocked as ignorant, is today considered wisdom. Wisdom should always rule.
Lee had a combination of grains he wanted us to use for cereal. Give it to Melissa, he said. That baby food is junk, no nutrition in it. One morning I did. Before I put it in her mouth I had an impression that it wasnt cooked enough. I wasnt sure if it was just my own thoughts or not, so I ignored it. I fed Melissa a grain that her body couldnt digest for at least another six months to a yearwheat. But I didnt know that then.
Natures way That is what Lee said, Go back to natures way; all this food is devitalized, contaminated, worthless.
And I listened. It made sense with all the chemicals and refining men had turned to. But that was only half truth--not all the story! And Melissa paid the price for our not knowing the whole story. People are destroyed for lack of knowledge. If we know, we cant be deceived, duped, or enticed away through ignorance of the truth. I didnt know, and neither did he. The wheat swelled up in Melissas intestines and her bowels locked. That is why she had started crying in church. It was the beginning of her illness. Four days later, giving her high enemas with consecrated olive oil, we got her bowels unlocked. She was administered to and blessed by God. The grain passed out and it looked like a tablespoon of sticky paste. Shortly thereafter we took her to the hospital and the dormant meningitis germ was found. Our doctor told us that if we had taken her to the hospital for the bowel blockage, a section of her bowels would possibly have been removed. As it was she remained whole as was sealed upon her head by the blessing through the elders. It pains me to expose this portion of our lives openly, but the message is so powerful that I feel it may some way help keep someone else from making the same mistakes.
People's attitudes prevented us from fellowshipping much with anyone other than Lee and Lucille. All our former friends had a judgment or condemnation of what they thought was happening, and we had to turn away from them. We had all the pressure we could cope with at home. As I had seen in the vision of the fierce storm, we lost everything, family and friends. We stood alone. Sometimes God requires that to test us. Who will we serve? Who is our Counselor?
...Cast out first the beam out of thine own eye...
During times of trial or stress, people need love and acceptance for the good thats in them. They dont need more criticism for what others think they need to be, or should be doing. No one can walk in anothers shoes. We all have special trials to go through to make us into what eternity has for us, and no one has any right to change that by dictating what they think our actions should be. So we should beware and not judge unrighteously. Its true that what we sow, we reap.We are not on earth to judge each other. Jesus said to take the beam out of our own eye. We pick at a small thing about our brother, while we carry a larger sin ourselves. Were here to learn how to live and love each other. When we learn this lesson, what a joy life will be. Jesus will walk among us.